The United Republic of Kolm is a gargantuan, cultured nation, remarkable for its soft-spoken computers, restrictive gun laws, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, devout population of 16.255 billion Kolmarians enjoy extensive civil rights and enjoy a level of social equality free from the usual accompanying government corruption.

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked, socially-minded morass — juggles the competing demands of Healthcare, Education, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Talchor. The average income tax rate is 87.9%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The powerhouse Kolmarian economy, worth a remarkable 1,277 trillion barres a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is mostly made up of the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing and Tourism. Average income is 78,566 barres, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Nature reserves often contain artificial waterfalls and concrete paths, judicial torture is outsourced overseas, jabbing a baby's bottle at officials gets parents waved straight through immigration, and hospitals have to sell their computers on vBay in order to afford the ransomware decryption payments. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Kolm's national animal is the great-tailed grackle, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Kolm is ranked 11,989^th in the world and 4^th in The Straw Hat Pirates for Highest Food Quality, scoring 149.07 on the Meeshlin-Starr Index.