The Empire of Koem Kab is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by The Great Leader with an iron fist, and notable for its deadly medical pandemics, keen interest in outer space, and unlimited-speed roads. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 15.994 billion Koem Kabs are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The medium-sized, corrupt, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, with Industry, Education, and Law & Order also on the agenda, while Spirituality receives no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Federick City. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Koem Kabian economy, worth an astonishing 14,598 trillion pounds a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, broadly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Retail, and Book Publishing. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is a breathtaking 912,743 pounds, with the richest citizens earning 7.1 times as much as the poorest.

Terrorists are on a first name basis with the officials that stamp their passports, a signed affidavit from a prominent anti-corruption advocate declares that she is in fact a crook after all, school lockers are filled with fancy underwear, and political speeches that drill deep into bureaucratic fine detail could be said to be a little boring. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Koem Kab's national animal is the porpoise, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Koem Kabism.

Koem Kab is ranked 294,265^th in the world and 1^st in The Secret Order for Nicest Citizens, with 0.05 average smiles per day.