The Empire of Koem Kab is a titanic, orderly nation, ruled by The Great Leader with an iron fist, and remarkable for its museums and concert halls, multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, and unlimited-speed roads. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 21.337 billion Koem Kabs are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The medium-sized, corrupt, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, with Industry, Education, and Law & Order also on the agenda, while Spirituality is ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Federick City. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Koem Kabian economy, worth an astonishing 23,884 trillion pounds a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, broadly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Retail, and Book Publishing. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is a breathtaking 1,119,416 pounds, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.0 times as much as the poorest.

Lifeguards are more concerned with watching for sharks than struggling swimmers, many suspect that the 'Whinny The Plop' children's magazine contains covert criticism of The Great Leader, hit and run driving is no longer a crime - it's the national sport, and the military patrols the streets in search of possible secessionists. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Koem Kab's national animal is the porpoise, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Koem Kabism.

Koem Kab is ranked 91^st in the world and 1^st in The Secret Order for Largest Cheese Export Sector, scoring 18,458.74 on the Mozzarella Productivity Index.