The Sovereign Directorate of Kjalpariso is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by Supreme Director Viktor Karelin with an iron fist, and notable for its unlimited-speed roads, compulsory military service, and strictly enforced bedtime. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 3.412 billion Kjalpars are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The relatively small, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government is primarily concerned with Defense, with Industry, Administration, and Spirituality also on the agenda, while Environment and Education aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Varkograd. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 48.6%.

The frighteningly efficient Kjalparisan economy, worth 888 trillion Kjalmarks a year, is dominated by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Uranium Mining, Gambling, and Retail. Black market activity is rampant. Average income is an amazing 260,334 Kjalmarks, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 936,364 per year while the poor average 51,807, a ratio of 18.1 to 1.

Men who wear pink are seen as dangerously unmanly, military chaplains grow frustrated with their long commutes, the blood on the hands of Supreme Director Viktor Karelin may not be metaphorical, and children who believe in the tooth fairy are frequently shipped off to Bigtopia. Crime, especially youth-related, is all-pervasive, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Kjalpariso's national animal is the Black Stallion, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is The Doctrine of Advancement.

Kjalpariso is ranked 54,906^th in the world and 208^th in the Plains of Perdition for Highest Poor Incomes, with 51,807.87 Standard Monetary Units.