The Republic of Kelvenides is a very large, safe nation, remarkable for its compulsory military service and restrictive gun laws. The hard-working, cynical population of 308 million Kelvenidesians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The large, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Education. The average income tax rate is 49.5%.

The Kelvenidesian economy, worth 12.5 trillion Kelvenyan Dinars a year, is led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Woodchip Exports, Information Technology, and Furniture Restoration. Average income is 40,695 Kelvenyan Dinars, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.4 times as much as the poorest.

Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Kelvenides's national animal is the lion.

Kelvenides is ranked 226,396^th in the world and 3^rd in Yajib for Highest Unexpected Death Rate, scoring 29.8 on the Bus Surprisal Index.