The Impossible Pantisocracy of Nuweland is a gargantuan, safe nation, ruled by Ignacio Quaresma with an even hand, and renowned for its free-roaming dinosaurs, prohibition of alcohol, and smutty television. The compassionate, cheerful population of 40.711 billion Nuwelanders are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The large, socially-minded government prioritizes Education, with Law & Order, Environment, and Social Policy also on the agenda, while Defense and Spirituality are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Hammersdorf-Vilamartel. The average income tax rate is 94.0%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Nuwelandian economy, worth a remarkable 8,323 trillion euros a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector is dominated by the Book Publishing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Pizza Delivery, and Cheese Exports. Average income is an amazing 204,459 euros, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The government has enacted freedom of information, surveillance cameras are banned, the nation's police officers are famously miserable-looking, and no-one can foil the ambitions of Big Aluminium. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Nuweland's national animal is the ring-tailed lemur, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is 'Christianity' à la neulandienne.

Nuweland is ranked 979^th in the world and 15^th in Europe for Safest, scoring 166.3 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.