The United States of Jolthig is a gargantuan, safe nation, ruled by President with an even hand, and notable for its museums and concert halls, smutty television, and pith helmet sales. The hard-nosed, humorless population of 25.394 billion Jolthigians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The enormous, corrupt, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Education, Law & Order, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Jolthig. The average income tax rate is 96.6%.

The frighteningly efficient Jolthigian economy, worth a remarkable 3,776 trillion Jols a year, is quite specialized and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 148,704 Jols, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

City workers have declared that rolling markets aren't good for business after all, older citizens lament over the loss of law and order, imitation is the sincerest form of felony, and women who walk into the ladies' changing room are accused of being Peeping Toms. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Jolthig's national animal is the White Cat, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Islam.

Jolthig is ranked 3,015^th in the world and 1^st in Ahmadiyya Caliphate for Lowest Crime Rates, with 130.52 law-abiding acts per hour.