The District of Joint Command is a titanic, safe nation, ruled by Liard with an iron fist, and notable for its compulsory military service, restrictive gun laws, and suspicion of poets. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical population of 15.545 billion Joint Commandians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of District City. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 27.9%.

The strong Joint Commandian economy, worth 784 trillion districtas a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Uranium Mining industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Arms Manufacturing, and Basket Weaving. Average income is 50,492 districtas, with the richest citizens earning 9.9 times as much as the poorest.

The government's official stance on religion is that it is so very silly, airplane passengers have been known to stuff pillows in their jackets to get extra arm room, voters must frequently select what they view as the lesser of two evils on the ballot, and teams of painters are converting road signs from horse lengths to kilometers. Crime, especially youth-related, is well under control, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Joint Command's national animal is the quick pink fox.

Joint Command is ranked 243,816^th in the world and 1^st in Joint Command for Most Cultured, scoring 63 on the Snufflebottom-Wiggendum Pentatonic Scale.