The Republic of James Milner is a massive, environmentally stunning nation, renowned for its closed borders, museums and concert halls, and free-roaming dinosaurs. The hard-nosed, cynical, devout population of 1.084 billion James Milnerians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The medium-sized, corrupt, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Administration. The average income tax rate is 58.0%.

The powerhouse James Milnerian economy, worth 115 trillion Balls a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a slick, highly efficient black market in Tourism, Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, and Trout Farming. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 106,866 Balls, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.7 times as much as the poorest.

Prankster scientists legally change their names to silly pseudonyms before major discoveries, the decision to be oppressed is now made democratically, shelters struggle to keep up with the endless intake of stray animals, and wigged-out hunters report playing croquet with the Queen of Hearts. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. James Milner's national animal is the Ball, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

James Milner is ranked 90,529^th in the world and 10^th in Football for Highest Disposable Incomes, with 44,884.13 Standard Monetary Units.