The Grand Heldervinian League of Heldervin is a mammoth, cultured nation, ruled by Niklaus A A Werner with an iron fist, and remarkable for its rum-swilling pirates, anti-smoking policies, and public floggings. The hard-nosed, cynical, devout population of 5.446 billion Heldervinians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The enormous, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Vrebsicourg. The average income tax rate is 94.5%.

The frighteningly efficient Heldervinian economy, worth 753 trillion Heldic marks a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized, quite specialized black market in Information Technology, Arms Manufacturing, and Book Publishing. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 138,417 Heldic marks, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Parental permit paperwork presents perpetual problems to prospective procreators, the national census includes an opt-in to join the government-run dating service, advanced mathematics books explain how two plus two equals five, and overhead luggage compartments on planes sometimes conceal diminutive intelligence officers. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Heldervin's national animal is the wyvern, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Katherinicanism.

Heldervin is ranked 170,335^th in the world and 14^th in Union of Conlang Nations for Largest Insurance Industry, scoring 270.13 on the Risk Expulsion Effectiveness Rating.