The Noodleness of Haley Ramen is a gargantuan, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Nice and Loveyness Empress Haley Alcott with an iron fist, and remarkable for its complete lack of prisons, sprawling nuclear power plants, and hatred of cheese. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, cheerful, devout population of 28.542 billion Haleys are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The enormous, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Education, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Britannia. The average income tax rate is 99.1%.

The frighteningly efficient Haley Ramenian economy, worth a remarkable 5,668 trillion Noodles a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is quite specialized, is led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing, Automobile Manufacturing, and Arms Manufacturing. Average income is an impressive 198,591 Noodles, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.2 times as much as the poorest.

Pedal-powered removal vans are a popular Maxxmas gift for the children of separated parents, Nice and Loveyness Empress Haley Alcott is too busy listening to praise to get any work done, a death threat has replaced 'hello' as an official greeting in the nation, and investigative reports into the government's latest violation of civilian rights are stored in the fiction aisle. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Haley Ramen's national animal is the Kawaii Finny-Tan, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Haley Loviness.

Haley Ramen is ranked 2,593^rd in the world and 7^th in the Outback for Most Cultured, scoring 231 on the Snufflebottom-Wiggendum Pentatonic Scale.