The Imperijos Teismas of Greater Balticia is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by Emil Von Räikkönen with an iron fist, and renowned for its complete lack of prisons, keen interest in outer space, and avowedly heterosexual populace. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 14.861 billion Balticyans are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

The medium-sized, corrupt government is primarily concerned with Defense, with Education, Law & Order, and Healthcare also on the agenda, while Spirituality and International Aid aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of St Clistonbergas. The average income tax rate is 81.1%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Greater Baltician economy, worth a remarkable 2,587 trillion Rekmas a year, is quite specialized and mostly made up of the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology and Book Publishing. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 174,106 Rekmas, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Community organizers have given up going door to door because nobody is home, the government puts forth the claim that harming young girls is wrong, the nation has always been at war with Bigtopia, and for some reason the census focuses on daily banana ingestion and hourly quip rate. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Greater Balticia's national animal is the Balticyan Liūtas, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Balticyan Ortodoksas.

Greater Balticia is ranked 16,586^th in the world and 15^th in Wintreath for Most Corrupt Governments, with 114.32 kickbacks per hour.