The Apocalyptic Dystopia of Grand Sparrow is a massive, orderly nation, ruled by Kira with an iron fist, and notable for its soft-spoken computers, aversion to nipples, and suspicion of poets. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 2.654 billion Sparrowians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The relatively small, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of New Mombasa. The average income tax rate is 43.2%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Sparrowian economy, worth 544 trillion Tyr's Doubloons a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, broadly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Uranium Mining, and Woodchip Exports. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 205,320 Tyr's Doubloons, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.8 times as much as the poorest.

Public shaming has become the favoured form of punishment, the bonfire of the old paper records can be seen for miles around New Mombasa, tens of thousands of Sparrowians rock the night away at the annual SuperLob, and state officials tend to disappear after they forget to salute Kira's portrait. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Grand Sparrow's national animal is the Sparrow, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Arsonism.

Grand Sparrow is ranked 199,493^rd in the world and 8,275^th in Balder for Highest Foreign Aid Spending, scoring -3.16 on the Clooney Contribution Index.