The Barhopper of Flameface is a colossal, orderly nation, renowned for its state-planned economy, restrictive gun laws, and stringent health and safety legislation. The cynical population of 4.497 billion Flamefaceans are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The medium-sized, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Healthcare. The average income tax rate is 40.1%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The sizeable but stagnant Flamefacean economy, worth 45.4 trillion baht a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a slick, highly efficient, quite specialized black market in Trout Farming, Tourism, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Door-to-door Insurance Sales. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 10,105 baht, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Flameface's national animal is the porpoise, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans.

Flameface is ranked 177,483^rd in the world and 3,219^th in eta for Nicest Citizens, with 12 average smiles per day.