The Protectorate of Fascinatia is a colossal, cultured nation, ruled by The Protector with an iron fist, and notable for its pith helmet sales, aversion to nipples, and frequent executions. The hard-nosed, cynical, devout population of 2.73 billion Fascinatians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The large, corrupt, moralistic government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Industry, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Old Arkendral. The average income tax rate is 87.3%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Fascinatian economy, worth 389 trillion Einheitsmarks a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Book Publishing industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, and Furniture Restoration. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 142,848 Einheitsmarks, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.2 times as much as the poorest.

Celebrity chefs are thought to be the progenitors of all food, the nation has welcomed its expats back with open arms, homeless people dying of starvation are thought to be a necessary cost of preventing terrorism, and prime commercial land is being swamped with archaeological teams. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Fascinatia's national animal is the Lion, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is The High Mandate.

Fascinatia is ranked 245,996^th in the world and 25^th in THE SUPER POWERS for Largest Gambling Industry, scoring -4.69 on the Kelly Criterion Productivity Index.