The Bassoon of Etsib is a mammoth, orderly nation, ruled by Ringo Starr with an iron fist, and notable for its smutty television, frequent executions, and punitive income tax rates. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 5.484 billion Etsibians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The medium-sized, corrupt, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, although Administration, Education, and Law & Order are also considered important. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Paul McCartney. The average income tax rate is 57.0%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The thriving Etsibian economy, worth 550 trillion dollars a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized, fairly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Tourism, and Furniture Restoration. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 100,341 dollars, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.2 times as much as the poorest.

Etsib is notorious for its citizens' infidelity, all citizens are solely referenced by their allocated identity number, the nation's new foreign policy of 'very disproportionate retribution' has its neighbors on edge, and rumours have it that a secret police is responsible for the recent spate of missing persons. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Etsib's national animal is the wolf, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is George Harrison.

Etsib is ranked 157,408^th in the world and 8^th in argent for Largest Insurance Industry, scoring 839.62 on the Risk Expulsion Effectiveness Rating.