The Holy Gold Christmas of Essui is a colossal, genial nation, remarkable for its sprawling nuclear power plants, parental licensing program, and ban on automobiles. The compassionate, democratic population of 4.285 billion Essui love a good election, and the government gives them plenty of them. Universities tend to be full of students debating the merits of various civil and political rights, while businesses are tightly regulated and the wealthy viewed with suspicion.

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked, socially-minded, outspoken morass — juggles the competing demands of Administration, Education, and Law & Order. The average income tax rate is 92.6%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The very strong Essui economy, worth 354 trillion gold bars a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is mostly made up of the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Basket Weaving, and Book Publishing. Average income is 82,621 gold bars, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Bad punctuation has come to a full stop, citizens praise the weeds that overwhelm their narrow vegetable realm, TV coverage of music festivals consists mostly of backstage interviews, and helping grandma with her Misgendering 101 homework is a national rite of passage. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Essui's national animal is the Cat, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Essui is ranked 2,367^th in the world and 12^th in Aessui for Safest, scoring 140.57 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.