The Federal Republic of Esstovakia is a mammoth, cultured nation, ruled by Commander in Chief Ileay Vortuni with an iron fist, and remarkable for its pith helmet sales, keen interest in outer space, and frequent executions. The hard-working, cynical population of 8.639 billion Esstovakians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The medium-sized, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Stovak. The average income tax rate is 32.2%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Esstovakian economy, worth 952 trillion Stovs a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Woodchip Exports, Book Publishing, and Arms Manufacturing. Black market activity is notable. Average income is an impressive 110,218 Stovs, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Smoking is banned in public areas, AI management double books government press conferences, the alien invasion siren sounds eerily like a UFO, and rolling boulders up hills is the national sport. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Esstovakia's national animal is the Falcon, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution, and its national religion is Catholicism.

Esstovakia is ranked 35,977^th in the world and 3^rd in The Anean Valhaven for Largest Black Market, with 39.8 trillion Standard Monetary Units.