The Hyperian Protectorate of Empirical Science is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by Tau with an iron fist, and remarkable for its multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, hatred of cheese, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, cynical population of 26.78 billion Empirical Scientists are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

It is difficult to tell where the omnipresent government stops and the rest of society begins, but it juggles the competing demands of Healthcare, Education, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Scarlatti. The average income tax rate is 93.4%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The thriving Empirical economy, worth a remarkable 2,103 trillion Credits a year, is driven almost entirely by government activity. The industrial sector is solely comprised of the Book Publishing industry. Average income is 78,548 Credits, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Birth rates have hit an all-time low, Tau has just been declared ruler of Empirical Science in an international press conference, Secular Atheism has been named as Empirical Science's national religion, and citizens living in underground cities have developed a healthy green glow. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Empirical Science's national animal is the Flying Crab, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Secular Atheism.

Empirical Science is ranked 2,628^th in the world and 2^nd in New Hyperion for Most Eco-Friendly Governments, scoring 10,945.35 on the Dolphin Recycling Awareness Index.