The German Statistics of Elystradt is a gargantuan, safe nation, ruled by Auguste Viktoria I with an iron fist, and notable for its smutty television, compulsory military service, and irreverence towards religion. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical population of 10.829 billion Elystrians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The medium-sized, corrupt government prioritizes Defense, although Education, Industry, and Administration are also considered important, while Spirituality and International Aid receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Tällin. The average income tax rate is 97.2%.

The frighteningly efficient Elystrian economy, worth a remarkable 2,770 trillion Elyks a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Book Publishing, and Retail. Average income is an amazing 255,868 Elyks, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.0 times as much as the poorest.

Nuclear submarines have been deployed to protect the nation's banana supply, parents seeking custody have to write a five-thousand word analysis of their child's imaginary friend, children have one piggy bank for fun and another to avoid crippling medical debt, and bargain-hunting is considered unpatriotic. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Elystradt's national animal is the Eagle, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Church of Elystradt.

Elystradt is ranked 3,240^th in the world and 6^th in Union Mundial for Lowest Crime Rates, with 127.96 law-abiding acts per hour.