The Fiefdom of ElinTol is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by Grand High Princess EllElin the Infinite with an iron fist, and notable for its aversion to nipples, free-roaming dinosaurs, and irreverence towards religion. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 28.182 billion ElinTolians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The enormous, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Defense, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of ElinTolopolis Sponsored by Funland Inc. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 79.0%.

The frighteningly efficient ElinTolian economy, worth a remarkable 5,314 trillion Kells a year, is quite specialized and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Information Technology and Book Publishing. Average income is an impressive 188,594 Kells, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 795,185 per year while the poor average 28,982, a ratio of 27.4 to 1.

From the highest mountain to the deepest cave - one can always count on finding a good cell signal in ElinTol, farmers are complaining that the buzzing and the sparks from the nearby MagRail are blighting their crops, clandestine emigration to countries with labor laws is all the rage, and supermarkets must refund spoilt milk even six months after the sale. Crime, especially youth-related, is well under control, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. ElinTol's national animal is the Red Squirrel, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Me.

ElinTol is ranked 333,271^st in the world and 50^th in Atlantis for Largest Cheese Export Sector, scoring -30.28 on the Mozzarella Productivity Index.