The Detachment of Ecalpan Dragoons is a mammoth, efficient nation, ruled by Provost Tenryukov with an even hand, and remarkable for its public floggings, otherworldly petting zoo, and triple-decker prams. The hard-nosed, hard-working, humorless, devout population of 7.504 billion Ecalpans are either ruled by a sleek, efficient government or a conglomerate of multinational corporations; it's difficult to tell which.

The relatively small, corrupt government prioritizes Defense, although Industry, Law & Order, and Education are also considered important, while Welfare and International Aid receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Fort Brunet. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 5.4%.

The frighteningly efficient Ecalpan economy, worth a remarkable 2,230 trillion kobans a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Retail, and Information Technology. Average income is an amazing 297,218 kobans, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 1,082,609 per year while the poor average 57,997, a ratio of 18.7 to 1.

Cutting remarks are the limit of Provost Tenryukov's violent tendencies, victims of crime are viewed as less trustworthy than politicians, politicians can be condescending (which by the way means "showing an attitude of patronising superiority"), and children are seen fighting in the playground for bread scraps that fall out of diamond-encrusted lunchboxes. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Ecalpan Dragoons's national animal is the kirin, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Ultramontanism.

Ecalpan Dragoons is ranked 3,485^th in the world and 2^nd in Fukuoka for Most Cultured, scoring 195 on the Snufflebottom-Wiggendum Pentatonic Scale.