The Armed Republic of Muffinses is a huge, orderly nation, renowned for its pith helmet sales, ubiquitous missile silos, and national health service. The hard-nosed, cynical population of 633 million Muffinesians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The enormous, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Muffiscaland. The average income tax rate is 79.7%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Muffinsesian economy, worth 64.6 trillion Muffinoses a year, is highly specialized and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Trout Farming, and Beef-Based Agriculture. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 101,997 Muffinoses, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Criminals rejoice in the streets as the entire police force is sent away on a training retreat, stolen Reuben sandwiches are met with detailed and thorough police investigations, maximum security Muffinsesian subway stations inspire prison systems around the world, and owning a really cute pet is grounds for immediate investigation. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Muffinses's national animal is the Muffin, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Muffinses is ranked 44,690^th in the world and 453^rd in the Pacific for Most Corrupt Governments, with 46.98 kickbacks per hour.