The Calamaripublic of Dunsteen is a titanic, efficient nation, ruled by Squidward Tentacles with an even hand, and renowned for its museums and concert halls, barren, inhospitable landscape, and irreverence towards religion. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic population of 11.588 billion Dunstenes have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The relatively small, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Education, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Bikini Bottom. The average income tax rate is 14.0%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Dunsteenian economy, worth a remarkable 2,511 trillion clarinets a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Retail industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Uranium Mining. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an amazing 216,741 clarinets, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.4 times as much as the poorest.

Earthquake sirens are a leading cause of hearing loss, private businesses are paving paradises to put up parking lots, prankster scientists legally change their names to silly pseudonyms before major discoveries, and would-be emigrants are told "abandon all hope all ye who would exit here". Crime is totally unknown. Dunsteen's national animal is the squid, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Squidism.

Dunsteen is ranked 297,198^th in the world and 43^rd in MJT for Nicest Citizens, with 1.16 average smiles per day.