The Doorman Despotism of Dormanshire is a mammoth, orderly nation, ruled by Head Doorman Richard Roberge with an iron fist, and remarkable for its parental licensing program, punitive income tax rates, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 8.506 billion Doormen are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government prioritizes Law & Order, with Defense, Industry, and Administration also on the agenda. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Lobbyland. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 75.8%.

The frighteningly efficient Doorman economy, worth 958 trillion Closed Doors a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Woodchip Exports industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Information Technology, and Automobile Manufacturing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 112,697 Closed Doors, with the richest citizens earning 6.2 times as much as the poorest.

Scientists who publish a non-reproducible result are tarred and feathered, mothers drive their college-graduate children to work, noises louder than a whisper have been prohibited by law, and weird kids who eat bugs are breaking the law. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Dormanshire's national animal is the Guy Left Waiting Outside, which can occasionally be seen sifting through garbage in the nation's cities, and its national religion is Catholicism.

Dormanshire is ranked 131,969^th in the world and 3^rd in Service Workers for Largest Welfare Programs, scoring 1,110.08 on the Safety Net Mesh Density Rating.