The Kingdom of Den Pich is a huge, efficient nation, notable for its avowedly heterosexual populace, enforced nudity, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, devout population of 566 million Den Pichians are rabid consumers, partly through choice and partly because the government tells them to and dissenters tend to vanish from their homes at night.

The tiny government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Administration, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Loch. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 7.6%.

The frighteningly efficient Den Pichian economy, worth 62.3 trillion Rings a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, and Uranium Mining. Average income is an impressive 110,128 Rings, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 439,418 per year while the poor average 18,567, a ratio of 23.7 to 1.

Travelers praise airports for their endless beige corridors, the acceptance of acupuncture and other alternative therapies has needled the scientific community, dreams of entering the Super League have been relegated to the history books, and the nation's politicians are known more for the internet memes they spawn than any of their accomplishments. Crime is pervasive, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Den Pich's national animal is the horse, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Den Pich is ranked 127,903^rd in the world and 10^th in Kryndel for Most Eco-Friendly Governments, scoring 563.23 on the Dolphin Recycling Awareness Index.