The Republic of DatPiff is a huge, safe nation, renowned for its lack of airports, zero percent divorce rate, and suspicion of poets. The quiet, industrious population of 900 million DatPiffians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Education. The average income tax rate is 24.0%.

The DatPiffian economy, worth 39.4 trillion pesos a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Cheese Exports industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Trout Farming, and Door-to-door Insurance Sales. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is 43,781 pesos, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.0 times as much as the poorest.

No animal is considered endangered if there's another that looks kind of like it, surrogate mothers are encouraged to refer to their wombs as 'rental space', the government is a proud sponsor of the National Gaming Association, and libraries are now installed with jacuzzis and mini-bars. Crime, especially youth-related, is well under control, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. DatPiff's national animal is the cow.

DatPiff is ranked 284,918^th in the world and 21^st in DatPiff for Most Cultured, scoring 55 on the Snufflebottom-Wiggendum Pentatonic Scale.