The Republic of Date Tech is a colossal, efficient nation, notable for its zero percent divorce rate, ban on automobiles, and compulsory gun ownership. The compassionate, cynical, humorless, devout population of 3.904 billion Date Techians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Administration. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 43.1%.

The frighteningly efficient Date Techian economy, worth 690 trillion spikes a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Furniture Restoration. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 176,788 spikes, with the richest citizens earning 7.3 times as much as the poorest.

If the best leaders are those who don't want to lead then Leader's lack of leadership must be a great leadership quality, parents giddily refuse to pay their toddlers' medical bills, the Department of Health is snowed under by requests for crisper ciabatta and tenderer tagliatelle, and financial investors are noting a boom in artillery. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Date Tech's national animal is the spiker, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Date Tech is ranked 267,965^th in the world and 469^th in International Puppet Storage for Nicest Citizens, with 6.84 average smiles per day.