The Protectorate of Crinitium is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by Rambo with an iron fist, and notable for its smutty television, anti-smoking policies, and suspicion of poets. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical population of 33.394 billion Crinitiumians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The large government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Viretia. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 72.1%.

The powerhouse Crinitiumian economy, worth a remarkable 3,353 trillion Dindinis a year, is broadly diversified and dominated by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, and Woodchip Exports. Average income is an impressive 100,432 Dindinis, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 364,169 per year while the poor average 19,736, a ratio of 18.5 to 1.

Schoolchildren have twice-weekly sex education classes, all beauty contests have been banned, expensive lawyers are hired to defend citizens in court for public urination charges against their pets, and riots have broken out as a water shortage threatens Crinitium's stability. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Crinitium's national animal is the Dodo, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Rambodialis.

Crinitium is ranked 156,084^th in the world and 4^th in VCG for Largest Insurance Industry, scoring 863.33 on the Risk Expulsion Effectiveness Rating.