The Watchfires of CotB is a gargantuan, orderly nation, notable for its smutty television, ritual sacrifices, and disturbing lack of elderly people. The hard-nosed, cynical, devout population of 26.44 billion CotBians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, moralistic government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Education. The average income tax rate is 62.0%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The strong CotBian economy, worth a remarkable 1,897 trillion $$s a year, is led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Tourism, and Beef-Based Agriculture. Black market activity is notable. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 71,784 $$s, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.7 times as much as the poorest.

The government tells its citizens to 'forgive and forget', helping grandma with her Misgendering 101 homework is a national rite of passage, murderers frequently escape punishment by claiming they were protecting their honour, and the weather in CotB City is always 'pigeons with a chance of droppings'. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. CotB's national animal is the Dolly Varden, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

CotB is ranked 21,988^th in the world and 1^st in Commonwealth of the Bahamas for Most Eco-Friendly Governments, scoring 3,161.48 on the Dolphin Recycling Awareness Index.