The State of Colonial Bay is a gargantuan, socially progressive nation, ruled by the Governor with a fair hand, and notable for its irreverence towards religion, complete absence of social welfare, and spontaneously combusting cars. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic population of 44.396 billion Colonial Bayians live in a state of perpetual fear, as a complete breakdown of social order has led to the rise of order through biker gangs.

The minute, pro-business, outspoken government, or what there is of one, juggles the competing demands of Education, Industry, and Public Transport. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Columbia Heights. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 6.3%.

The thriving Colonial Bayian economy, worth a remarkable 1,792 trillion betales a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is quite specialized and dominated by the Gambling industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Uranium Mining. Average income is 40,368 betales, but there is an enormous disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 235,661 per year while the poor average 3,253, a ratio of 72.4 to 1.

The average commuter spends four hours a day driving to and from work, Colonial Bay has designated Columbia Heights as its capital city, the Governor has just been declared ruler of Colonial Bay in an international press conference, and the government's official stance on religion is that it is so very silly. Crime is a serious problem, probably because of the absence of a police force. Colonial Bay's national animal is the deer, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Colonial Bay is ranked 312,580^th in the world and 5^th in Massachusetts for Most Eco-Friendly Governments, scoring -7.07 on the Dolphin Recycling Awareness Index.