by Max Barry

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Largest Furniture Restoration Industry: 1stLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 5thLargest Black Market: 6th
The Popsicle Pete Nation of
Iron Fist Consumerists Champions of Commerce
NONE OF YOU ARE SAFE!
Influence
Shoeshiner
Civil Rights
Outlawed
Economy
Frightening
Political Freedom
Outlawed

Overview Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Clench

Population33.253 billion

CapitalJoseph City
LeaderJoseph
FaithJosephism

Currencymoney
Animalviper

The Popsicle Pete Nation of Clench is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by Joseph with an iron fist, and remarkable for its deadly medical pandemics, frequent executions, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 33.253 billion follower of Josephs are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The relatively small, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government is primarily concerned with Defense, with Industry and Healthcare also on the agenda, while Social Policy and Environment aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Joseph City. The average income tax rate is 98.4%.

The frighteningly efficient Josephic economy, worth an astonishing 34,754 trillion monies a year, is broadly diversified and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Arms Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, Woodchip Exports, and Door-to-door Insurance Sales. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is a breathtaking 1,045,154 monies, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 3,044,447 per year while the poor average 283,676, a ratio of 10.7 to 1.

The government burgles the houses of holidaying citizens, sneezing pedestrians are grabbed by alley-lurking doctors, the term "Native Follower Of Joseph" has been redefined as anyone with the same skin color as the majority, and the police think a properly conducted criminal investigation is a real pain. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, despite the fact that it is difficult to make it through a day without breaking one of the country's many laws. Clench's national animal is the viper, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Josephism.

Clench is ranked 15,329th in the world and 304th in the Rejected Realms for Largest Publishing Industry, scoring 9,206.18 on the Bella Potter Productivity e-Index.

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Largest Furniture Restoration Industry: 1stLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 5thLargest Black Market: 6thLargest Insurance Industry: 6thHighest Average Incomes: 9thLargest Mining Sector: 10thHighest Economic Output: 13thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 13thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 19thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 19thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 21stLargest Agricultural Sector: 24thLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 27thMost Patriotic: 29thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 82ndMost Subsidized Industry: 137thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 139thMost Corrupt Governments: 151stHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 164thLargest Governments: 178thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 183rdHighest Wealthy Incomes: 202ndMost Efficient Economies: 209thMost Avoided: 236thFattest Citizens: 299thLowest Crime Rates: 375thMost Advanced Public Transport: 412thHighest Poor Incomes: 461stLargest Retail Industry: 755thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 934thLargest Populations: 1,703rdMost Scientifically Advanced: 1,711thHighest Average Tax Rates: 2,013thTop
5%
Largest Information Technology Sector: 4,436thLargest Trout Fishing Sector: 4,823rdMost Conservative: 6,652ndRudest Citizens: 7,031stMost Stationary: 7,288thMost Devout: 7,427thTop
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Highest Unexpected Death Rate: 12,125thMost Authoritarian: 13,673rdLargest Publishing Industry: 15,329thMost Advanced Public Education: 15,819thSmartest Citizens: 18,093rdMost World Assembly Endorsements: 21,513thMost Influential: 21,920th
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Most Patriotic: 1st in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 1st in the regionLargest Black Market: 1st in the regionHighest Economic Output: 1st in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 1st in the regionLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 1st in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 1st in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 1st in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 1st in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 1st in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 1st in the regionLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 2nd in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 2nd in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 2nd in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 2nd in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 2nd in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 3rd in the regionHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 10th in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 11th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 11th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 11th in the regionLargest Governments: 11th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 12th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 15th in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 18th in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 18th in the regionMost Avoided: 19th in the regionFattest Citizens: 21st in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 29th in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 33rd in the regionLargest Populations: 37th in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 53rd in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 60th in the regionMost Stationary: 66th in the regionTop
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Largest Information Technology Sector: 108th in the regionLargest Trout Fishing Sector: 132nd in the regionRudest Citizens: 175th in the regionMost Conservative: 203rd in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 304th in the regionMost Devout: 325th in the regionTop
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Smartest Citizens: 379th in the regionMost Authoritarian: 382nd in the regionMost Influential: 431st in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 454th in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 475th in the regionMost Extreme: 539th in the regionMost World Assembly Endorsements: 589th in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 600th in the regionMost Developed: 686th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Clench, the police think a properly conducted criminal investigation is a real pain.
  • : Following new legislation in Clench, the term "Native Follower Of Joseph" has been redefined as anyone with the same skin color as the majority.
  • : Following new legislation in Clench, sneezing pedestrians are grabbed by alley-lurking doctors.
  • : Following new legislation in Clench, the government burgles the houses of holidaying citizens.
  • : Following new legislation in Clench, The Very Hungry Caterpillar has been banned for advocating gluttony.
  • : Following new legislation in Clench, promising seven years of bad luck leads to seven years of community service.
  • : Following new legislation in Clench, supermarket milk is a shear-thickening fluid that can stop small-caliber bullets.
  • : Following new legislation in Clench, movement-triggered sensors mean that for every door that closes another one opens.
  • : Following new legislation in Clench, Follower of Josephs believe a soft answer turneth away wrath but punitive punishment is much more fun.
  • : Following new legislation in Clench, epidemiologists happily announce that the reported incidence of depression is close to zero percent.

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