The Kingdom of Cerselva is a mammoth, cultured nation, ruled by Avarik von Alore-Launschwetz with an iron fist, and remarkable for its vat-grown people, zero percent divorce rate, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 5.478 billion Cerselvans are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, although Law & Order, Healthcare, and Industry are also considered important, while Spirituality and International Aid aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Lirnwerg-Vayu. The average income tax rate is 37.7%.

The frighteningly efficient Cerselvan economy, worth 642 trillion Geyvels a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Door-to-door Insurance Sales, and Tourism. Average income is an impressive 117,210 Geyvels, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.9 times as much as the poorest.

The optimally efficient parking strategy for business commuters is referred to as the "traveling salesman problem", commercial jingles are the nation's greatest export, pre-takeoff checks last longer than the flights themselves, and workers have their fruitcake and eat it too. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Cerselva's national animal is the Salamander and its national religion is Abyssal church.

Cerselva is ranked 121,023^rd in the world and 23^rd in Mitteleuropa for Safest, scoring 74.96 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.