The Cards of Card Something is a titanic, orderly nation, ruled by Main Nation with an iron fist, and remarkable for its pith helmet sales, frequent executions, and suspicion of poets. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, devout population of 13.363 billion farmers are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The large, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of card farm. The average income tax rate is 63.7%.

The frighteningly efficient farm economy, worth a remarkable 1,252 trillion banks a year, is fairly diversified and dominated by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Woodchip Exports, and Furniture Restoration. Black market activity is extensive. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 93,699 banks, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.1 times as much as the poorest.

Sailors spend their shore leave helping old ladies cross the street, government-run screening operations remove embryos with severe genetic disorders, baby boys who pick up pink crayons are sent to a psychiatric ward, and a good deed is rewarded with a thank you note attached to a deportation order. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Card Something's national animal is the card, which can occasionally be seen sifting through garbage in the nation's cities, and its national religion is card farming.

Card Something is ranked 103,248^th in the world and 1,577^th in The catholic military orders for Largest Gambling Industry, scoring 1,770.43 on the Kelly Criterion Productivity Index.