The Summatory Socialist Republic of Captiotia is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Quincy-Claudia Green with a fair hand, and renowned for its anti-smoking policies, daily referendums, and state-planned economy. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 20.706 billion Captiot are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The enormous, socially-minded, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Education, Environment, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Malachi. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Captiotian economy, worth a remarkable 5,993 trillion Pokoes a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is mostly made up of the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism. Average income is an amazing 289,439 Pokoes, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Sharing vacation pictures requires written consent from the entire beach resort, the nation is known as the cheapskates of Balder, space shuttles regularly launch rubbish into space, and bad punctuation has come to a full stop. Crime is totally unknown. Captiotia's national animal is the Rat, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Captiotia is ranked 1,227^th in the world and 42^nd in Balder for Lowest Crime Rates, with 163.35 law-abiding acts per hour.