The Grand Duchy of Calgos is a mammoth, genial nation, remarkable for its ritual sacrifices, zero percent divorce rate, and suspicion of poets. The compassionate, cynical population of 5.803 billion Calgosians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Education. The average income tax rate is 29.2%.

The Calgosian economy, worth 300 trillion dollars a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Door-to-door Insurance Sales, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Woodchip Exports. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is 51,630 dollars, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.4 times as much as the poorest.

The Calgos City Women's Prison Choir now has a baritone section, the government has implemented minimum wage laws, primary candidates are replaced if they fail to compliment Leader's hair, and farmers have taken to hunting billionaires who encroach on their land. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Calgos's national animal is the eagle.

Calgos is ranked 231,779^th in the world and 28^th in Lassa for Largest Cheese Export Sector, scoring 82.4 on the Mozzarella Productivity Index.