The Moralistic Unitary State of Cailona is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by President Craig Linnons with an iron fist, and renowned for its barren, inhospitable landscape, infamous sell-swords, and daily referendums. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 5.013 billion Cailonicans are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The relatively small, corrupt, moralistic government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Defense, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Jenkins District of Holonia. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 10.0%.

The frighteningly efficient Cailonican economy, worth 972 trillion Moralistic Dollars a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Retail industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Soda Sales, and Information Technology. Black market activity is extensive. Average income is an impressive 193,928 Moralistic Dollars, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 682,830 per year while the poor average 39,879, a ratio of 17.1 to 1.

The government is washing its hands of alleged corruption, the internal market is thriving, there's a hole in the heart of every Cailonican city, and fixing attendance at women's matches is a matter of "when they go low, we go high... funding". Crime, especially youth-related, is pervasive, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Cailona's national animal is the Moralistic Bat, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Roman Catholicsm.

Cailona is ranked 9,787^th in the world and 1^st in Liberty Democratic Alliance for Most Corrupt Governments, with 157.26 kickbacks per hour.