The Orangutan Sanctuary of Blagton is a colossal, orderly nation, ruled by Ken Allen with an iron fist, and renowned for its rum-swilling pirates, anti-smoking policies, and punitive income tax rates. The hard-nosed, cynical population of 6.696 billion Blagtonians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The large, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Healthcare, Education, and Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Ponginae Pongo. The average income tax rate is 52.0%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The powerhouse Blagtonian economy, worth 536 trillion Hups a year, is quite specialized and led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, and Book Publishing. Black market activity is notable. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 80,076 Hups, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Terrorist videos start by thanking their sponsors, hunters have been known to lose limbs while attempting to 'play tag' with their prey, advert breaks are played at lower volumes to make them easier to ignore, and Ken Allen's exquisite office door is replaced monthly due to angry petitioners. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Blagton's national animal is the Orangutan.

Blagton is ranked 52,497^th in the world and 67^th in Yggdrasil for Lowest Crime Rates, with 73.49 law-abiding acts per hour.