The Greater Apocalyptic Vessel of Betchioviche is a massive, cultured nation, renowned for its barren, inhospitable landscape, avowedly heterosexual populace, and free-roaming dinosaurs. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 2.019 billion Betchiovicheans are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, although Law & Order, Administration, and Education are also considered important, while Welfare and Spirituality aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Gartrzske. The average income tax rate is 56.3%.

The strong Betchiovichean economy, worth 166 trillion Betchivols a year, is led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Woodchip Exports. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 82,418 Betchivols, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.3 times as much as the poorest.

Panels from bankrupt rooftop solar companies are used as props for sci-fi B-movies, engine room hooch is the drink of choice among the nation's navy, squeaky high prepubescent voices recite the patriotic poem "Hail to The Leader!" before each meal, and the term "Native Betchiovichean" has been redefined as anyone with the same skin color as the majority. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Betchioviche's national animal is the Lion, which can occasionally be seen sifting through garbage in the nation's cities, and its national religion is Horsesism.

Betchioviche is ranked 310,185^th in the world and 151^st in Hell for Safest, scoring 10.85 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.