The Federal Republic of Berlitria is a gargantuan, genial nation, ruled by Mikhail Zayev Vakhrushev with an even hand, and remarkable for its sprawling nuclear power plants, hatred of cheese, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, hard-working, devout population of 30.413 billion Berlitrians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The enormous, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Healthcare, Defense, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Lindenberg. The average income tax rate is 78.9%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Berlitrian economy, worth a remarkable 2,739 trillion Krushes a year, is extremely specialized and mostly made up of the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology. Black market activity is notable. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is 90,074 Krushes, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.9 times as much as the poorest.

Breast milk is being redistributed from each according to their ability to each according to their need, Mikhail Zayev Vakhrushev's luxurious new home has been designated as a protected cultural heritage site, creating dance remixes is the newest form of conspicuous consumption, and Christian now admits men and women into its clergy. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Berlitria's national animal is the Golden Eagle, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Christian.

Berlitria is ranked 192,550^th in the world and 7,590^th in Osiris for Safest, scoring 49.4 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.