The Kingdom of Bathgate0 is a titanic, cultured nation, ruled by King Nicholas I with an even hand, and remarkable for its keen interest in outer space, smutty television, and pith helmet sales. The hard-nosed, hard-working population of 24.563 billion Bathgatians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The relatively small, corrupt government prioritizes Industry, although Education, Law & Order, and Defense are also considered important, while Social Policy and Welfare are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Falside. The average income tax rate is 8.4%.

The frighteningly efficient Bathgatian economy, worth a remarkable 3,496 trillion Pounds a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Retail industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Automobile Manufacturing. Average income is an impressive 142,344 Pounds, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.2 times as much as the poorest.

Increasing inclusiveness is a sign of the times, maximum security fish farms leave caged salmon pining for the fjords, the new foreign policy is "why bother invading neighbours when they can be bought wholesale?", and exorbitant spending on icebreakers breaks the ice at every budget meeting. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Bathgate0's national animal is the Cow, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Christianity.

Bathgate0 is ranked 13,142^nd in the world and 9^th in Sheriffmuir for Largest Populations, with 24.6 billion capita.