The BEST BOY of Astolfo1 is a colossal, efficient nation, renowned for its keen interest in outer space, state-planned economy, and suspicion of poets. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 6.198 billion Astolfo1ians are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The medium-sized, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Education, and Law & Order. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 55.7%.

The powerhouse Astolfo1ian economy, worth 613 trillion baht a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized, broadly diversified black market in Tourism, Arms Manufacturing, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Information Technology. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 99,012 baht, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 403,899 per year while the poor average 16,091, a ratio of 25.1 to 1.

Leader tells rebellious ministers to "drop and give me twenty", elections have become procedural nightmares due to voters persistently rejecting candidates, baby dolls thrown in the trash are a leading cause of panic attacks, and the nation's youth would rather watch paint dry than the news. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Astolfo1's national animal is the crocodile, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Astolfo1 is ranked 125,159^th in the world and 40^th in Newlandia for Most Beautiful Environments, with 533.98 pounds of wildlife per square mile.