The Eternal Misfortune of Askatopia is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by The Executioner with an iron fist, and remarkable for its museums and concert halls, avowedly heterosexual populace, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 26.666 billion Disposables are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, with Law & Order, Spirituality, and Administration also on the agenda, while Education and Environment receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of The Unyielding Cesspit Of Filth. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Disposable economy, worth an astonishing 19,947 trillion Nuclear Bombs a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, highly specialized black market in Uranium Mining, Woodchip Exports, Basket Weaving, and Furniture Restoration. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is a breathtaking 748,052 Nuclear Bombs, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The nation's reputation for treachery has left it sidelined on the international stage, survivors receive aid from only the most environmentally-friendly transport, police officers have nearly cracked a major underage astronomy syndicate, and minefields are being deployed along the border to discourage potential emigrants from trying to leave. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force. Askatopia's national animal is the Slug, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Violetism.

Askatopia is ranked 48^th in the world and 4^th in Pencil Sharpeners Puppet Storage for Lowest Crime Rates, with 345.63 law-abiding acts per hour.