The Eternal Misfortune of Aqualagoon is a titanic, efficient nation, ruled by Queen Shrub with an iron fist, and notable for its deadly medical pandemics, rampant corporate plagiarism, and zero percent divorce rate. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 21.475 billion Aqualagoonians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Spirituality, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Florapolis. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Aqualagoonian economy, worth an astonishing 12,337 trillion Raindrops a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, quite specialized black market in Beef-Based Agriculture, Trout Farming, and Cheese Exports. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is a breathtaking 574,491 Raindrops, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Years of counter-terrorism planning are foiled by small details, this year's hottest seller is plenary indulgence, all you have to do is pray to get into Aqualagoon, and the revelation that people were sexist in the past is apparently front page news. Crime, especially youth-related, is so common that it is unusual to encounter someone following the law, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Aqualagoon's national animal is the Trout, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Food.

Aqualagoon is ranked 331,901^st in the world and 34^th in Pencil Sharpeners Puppet Storage for Most Developed, scoring 41.12 on the Human Development Index.