The Kingdom of Apse Heath is a titanic, cultured nation, ruled by King Aelfweard with an even hand, and renowned for its punitive income tax rates, restrictive gun laws, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, democratic, devout population of 15.96 billion Apse Heathians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The large government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Education, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Branstone. The average income tax rate is 67.0%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The powerhouse Apse Heathian economy, worth a remarkable 1,269 trillion marks a year, is quite specialized and led by the Book Publishing industry, with significant contributions from Basket Weaving, Tourism, and Pizza Delivery. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 79,515 marks, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The Apse Heath Automotive Racing Series draws millions of spectators annually while those near the tracks complain about the noise, the "war on terror" doesn't seem to be making Apse Heathians any less frightened, traumatised refugees have a full bedpan shoved into their hands along with their immigration papers, and the government frequently panders to parents with boutique tax credits. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Apse Heath's national animal is the Masai giraffe, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is pagan.

Apse Heath is ranked 7,569^th in the world and 15^th in Wihtwara for Safest, scoring 122.91 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.