The Protectorate of Andean Mountains is a gargantuan, efficient nation, renowned for its frequent executions, compulsory military service, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working, devout population of 16.067 billion Andean Mountainsians are free to succeed or fail in life on their own merits; the successful tend to enjoy an opulent (but moralistic) lifestyle, while the failures can be seen crowding out most jails.

The relatively small government juggles the competing demands of Spirituality, Law & Order, and Defense. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 8.9%.

The very strong Andean Mountainsian economy, worth 985 trillion hams a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Retail industry, with major contributions from Pizza Delivery, Furniture Restoration, and Cheese Exports. Average income is 61,351 hams, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 176,535 per year while the poor average 16,940, a ratio of 10.4 to 1.

Nudity is frowned upon, corporations donate huge sums of money to favored politicians, chalkboards are replaced with billboards in the classroom, and organ donation rates have hit a new low. Crime, especially youth-related, is well under control, thanks to a capable police force. Andean Mountains's national animal is the Eagle, which can occasionally be seen dodging aircraft in the nation's cities.

Andean Mountains is ranked 175,740^th in the world and 15^th in The Lexicon for Lowest Crime Rates, with 58.81 law-abiding acts per hour.