The Republic of Alsop is a colossal, orderly nation, renowned for its zero percent divorce rate, smutty television, and compulsory vegetarianism. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 8.954 billion Alsopians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Administration, and Law & Order. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 54.1%.

The frighteningly efficient Alsopian economy, worth a remarkable 1,269 trillion 9003s a year, is fairly diversified and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Uranium Mining, Information Technology, Arms Manufacturing, and Basket Weaving. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 141,768 9003s, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 407,051 per year while the poor average 39,262, a ratio of 10.4 to 1.

The overhead luggage compartment is often full, school plays were recently banned due to concerns of child endangerment, sleep-deprived officials are known to collapse after late night revision for their examinations, and whipping posts and lashes have been transferred to the Historical Museum of Alsopian Embarrassments. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Alsop's national animal is the 9003, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Alsop is ranked 30,200^th in the world and 1^st in accommodate for Most Subsidized Industry, scoring 5,654.82 on the Gilded Widget Scale.