The Phantasm of Afi-Aftos is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by El Guapo with an iron fist, and renowned for its teetotalling pirates, free-roaming dinosaurs, and ban on automobiles. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 40 billion Afi-Aftosians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The large, corrupt government prioritizes Industry, with Administration, Healthcare, and Law & Order also on the agenda, while Social Policy and Welfare receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Loompaland. The average income tax rate is 81.3%.

The frighteningly efficient Afi-Aftosian economy, worth a remarkable 8,334 trillion Fishterous Correlations a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, quite specialized black market in Uranium Mining, Retail, and Furniture Restoration. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 208,355 Fishterous Correlations, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.5 times as much as the poorest.

Afi-Aftosians have replaced bears in a popular idiom, Afi-Aftosians are free from pain - but the side effects include loss of individual thought and freedom, people forget to eat because they are too busy singing El Guapo's praises, and homesickness is thought to be a waterborne illness. Crime is all-pervasive, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Afi-Aftos's national animal is the Vermicious Knid, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Dudeism.

Afi-Aftos is ranked 43,925^th in the world and 3^rd in Fredonia for Largest Basket Weaving Sector, scoring 4,236.55 on the Hickory Productivity Index.