The Phantasm of Afi-Aftos is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by El Guapo with an iron fist, and notable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, rampant corporate plagiarism, and free-roaming dinosaurs. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 38.099 billion Afi-Aftosians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The large, corrupt, well-organized government is primarily concerned with Industry, with Administration and Healthcare also on the agenda, while Social Policy and Welfare receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Dreck City. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 76.8%.

The frighteningly efficient Afi-Aftosian economy, worth a remarkable 7,450 trillion Fishterous Correlations a year, is quite specialized and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Uranium Mining, Retail, and Furniture Restoration. Average income is an impressive 195,554 Fishterous Correlations, with the richest citizens earning 6.6 times as much as the poorest.

Spousal homicide rates have tripled in recent months, all marriages are arranged by the government, there is a heavy social stigma attached to e-cigarettes, and whole-wheat loaves are sold under the counter in brown paper bags. Crime is all-pervasive, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Afi-Aftos's national animal is the Vermicious Knid, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Dudeism.

Afi-Aftos is ranked 209,390^th in the world and 6^th in Fredonia for Safest, scoring 2.49 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.