The Empire of 911 is a colossal, orderly nation, ruled by elbirdo with an iron fist, and remarkable for its anti-smoking policies, compulsory military service, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 3.043 billion 911ians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The large, corrupt, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, with Law & Order, Administration, and Industry also on the agenda, while Welfare isn't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Phoenix Haven. The average income tax rate is 77.3%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient 911ian economy, worth 464 trillion bottleses of vodca a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized, broadly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, Information Technology, and Beef-Based Agriculture. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 152,598 bottleses of vodca, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.7 times as much as the poorest.

Exorbitant spending on icebreakers breaks the ice at every budget meeting, former stunt pilots are unable to pass the licence test to fly a drone, extraordinary rendition is nothing out of the ordinary, and the best defense is a good fence. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. 911's national animal is the dinosaur, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is alcoholism.

911 is ranked 53,652^nd in the world and 3^rd in Nikara for Most Cultured, scoring 71 on the Snufflebottom-Wiggendum Pentatonic Scale.