The Loving Couple of -OhCrikey is a mammoth, efficient nation, ruled by Ed with an even hand, and renowned for its ubiquitous missile silos, infamous sell-swords, and smutty television. The hard-nosed, humorless population of 9.332 billion -OhCrikeyians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The large, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Industry, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Boiling Isles. The average income tax rate is 68.4%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient -OhCrikeyian economy, worth 903 trillion snails a year, is quite specialized and led by the Trout Farming industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Basket Weaving, and Uranium Mining. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is 96,795 snails, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.4 times as much as the poorest.

It is common to still see adults with training wheels on their bikes, the importance of winning Olympic gold medals is indoctrinated from an early age, GDP growth is the preferred altar of national worship, and destitute athletes are forced to train in the street. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. -OhCrikey's national animal is the owl, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Cards.

-OhCrikey is ranked 20,107^th in the world and 3^rd in Enowiden for Largest Black Market, with 165 trillion Standard Monetary Units.